Shut Up!
by GreenFire1
Summary: Based on a True Story. Yuusuke's issues with having Kuwabara as a roommate at the dark tournament. Rated for language. It's Yuusuke, he swears..a lot.


Based on a True Story (I'll think of a new title after not traveling for 29 hours and being awake for over 40...Why am I still awake) (And it's based on a true story like the LOTR movies were based on the books)

'Shut up'

'Shut Up'

'Shut up Shut Up SHUT UP!'

"ARGH!"

Yusuke flipped himself over on his bed, planting the pillow that had been covering his face back in its spot. Lying on his stomach he propped himself up on his elbows. Yusuke gave his friend, well maybe not friend after this, on the bed next to him his most threatening death glare.

Said death glare normally scared anyone half out of their wits, but was lost on Kuwabara who, despite popular opinion does have the wits required to be scared out of them, but was currently asleep.

With the pillow back on the bed the thin protection Yusuke had was gone.

"Snore"

"Gah!" Yusuke screamed in frustration and buried his head under the pillow, every muscle in his arms working on pushing the pillow as hard next to his ear as possible. He held it there for a few minutes...

'Did he stop?'

Yusuke slowly released some of the pressure on the pillow.

"SNORE"

Yusuke pushed the pillow against his head so fast and hard he was sure he'd have yet another bruise there. 'Just what I need,' he thought. 'Self inflicted injuries. Like there's not enough people here to do it for me...'

Satisfied for now that he had mostly blocked out the noise, it only sounded like heavy breathing now, Yusuke tired to fall asleep. 'Damn even the breathings annoying...if I can just fall asleep, it won't bug me for the rest of the night.' Yusuke closed his eyes and let himself relax. He was so tired it was easy for him to drift off after a few moments.

'So tired...so...' Every sore muscle started relaxing; all the crap he had to put up with that day was fading...fading...

"SNORE"

Apparently some of the muscles that were relaxing were the ones supposed to be keeping the pillow in place. Yusuke let out a whimper at the unfairness of it all. 'Didn't the universe fuck with me enough for one day. Going into battle unfairly matched, narrowly winning after getting my ass kicked. Then getting to so it all over again two minutes later with two people vs. Five! Is it too much to ask for some sleep?

"snore"

'Yes... though that sounded softer'

Yusuke raised his head to look, still keeping the pillow in place over his ears this time, damned if he was going to make that mistake twice. Kuwabara was sprawled on his bed, right arm and leg dangling off the side and sheets barely on him. 'At least he's wearing boxers' Yusuke thought. They had that discussion the first night of sharing a hotel room. They decided on the I-don't-care-what-you-do-at-home-no-one-here-wants-to-see-that rule. Most importantly though was that Kuwabara's mouth while disgustingly open...and drooling...was barely moving. Yusuke risked taking the pillow off his head...YES!

The thunderous I-have-a-cold-or-something-has-to-be-up-there-to-make-a-noise-like-a-bicyle-with-a-I-don't-know-what-its-called-but-it-makes-a-normally-quiet-thing-sound-like-a-motocycle-followed-by-a-whistling-noise snore had eased down into heaving breathing. VERY heavy breathing but when compared to the I-have-a-yaddayaddayadda it was a nice change.

Yusuke thanked every God and Goddess he had ever heard of, flopped his head back down and settled into sleep.

Poor little tired battered Yusuke slipped off into dreamland. He'd always liked dreamland. Keiko wasn't so slap happy there, or was quite as modest. Hell Dream-Keiko didn't know what modesty was. Which Dream-Yusuke appreciated very much. 'Cool-whip? What's she going to do with.....'

"SNORE"

Yusuke was on his feet, pillow in hand about to smother his school "friend." The next snore ironically enough brought him to his senses. Killing a teammate probably wouldn't be a good idea...and Shizuru would kill him. Yusuke settled for flinging Kuwabara's blanket on the ground. Who knows maybe he'd wake up to get it, A Reprieve. Yusuke sank on his bed in defeat as another snore rocked the room.

'I could always sleep on the floor as far away from him as possible...That's just what I need Cramped already sore muscles' Yusuke sneered to himself while once again fixing Kuwabara with the worst death glare he could manage.

"SNORE"

'Smothering is really starting to seem like a good idea...no. Yukina would be sad, which would make Hiei kill me, or thank me for getting rid of him...I wonder what he would'

"SNORE"

"GAH!" Yusuke got up and walked toward the bathroom, thinking he'd go get some water to throw at his one time friend, he just had to decide what temperature. Cold would wake him up, which would stop the snoring. But there was a big chance Kuwabara would fall asleep again before Yusuke leaving him in the same predicament. Warm, not hot...5 fucking star hotel and you still have to wait ten minutes for the water to get hot, water would be funny tomorrow when Kuwabara thought he'd pissed the bed but didn't solve his current problem.

Yusuke was pondering this difficult decision when his face hit the floor. A loud snore from his now ex-teammate and something on the floor made him loose his balance. Yusuke sat up, picked up the thing from the floor and almost chucked it at Kuwabara's head until he noticed what it was.

'A disc-man...this could work'

Smiling to himself, happy for the first time that night, he didn't even mind the next few snores separated by heaving breathing. "Do that all you want I won't hear you in a minute"

Yusuke put the earphones in. They were a painful kind that fit in you're ear but didn't come with padding, not to mention that the cord was trying to choke him. Moving the cord Yusuke thought to himself 'I can just see the obits... Yusuke survives first few rounds of dark tournament to be killed in the night by headphones' He pressed play and flicked Kuwabara off now convinced of his victory. 'Megallica? I wasn't listening to Megallica...more reason to kill him tomorrow.'

For anyone to fall asleep to heavy metal they either have to be insanely tied or Eikichi. Yusuke wasn't Kuwabara's cat but oh was he tired.

Yusuke closed his eyes and started to drift off. The snores and heavy breathing could still be heard but barely. Easy enough to fix, he turned up the volume on the disc-man. 'Oh quite...kind of...sleep'

"No Way in Hell!!!"

Somehow Kuwabara had managed to time his snored with the down beats of the music. Every time the music got slightly softer Kuwabara would fucking snore! Wait...now it's breath, breath snore...repeat.... HE'S FUCKING SNORING TO THE RYTHYM!!!

With the Heavy metal on max, painful headphones in his ear and a pillow pushing them ion farther Yusuke attempted to sleep again.

'Hm...that's a good song' despite all odds Yusuke had in fact dozed off, but thanks to Murphy and his stupid law...

'hm...music's gone now...head phones hurt...take them out now...that better,' Yusuke restarted the light snoring (well compared to Kuwabara's) of his own almost back to dream land with Dream-Keiko and the magical cool whip.

"SNORE!"

Reality crashed back in.

Yusuke didn't move. He made himself star perfectly still. 'It's like a snake...if you don't move it can't see you and it goes away'

More heavy breathing, but no snores.

'See, now more sleep' Yusuke let himself relax. He was asleep once he could get there again!

But once again heavy breathing turned into

"SNORE!"

"DAMN EVERYTHING TO HELL!!!"

Yuskue grabbed his pillow and blanket and threw them across the room. He set up a makeshift bad in the corner by the door. It was a good corner...Yusuke and the late Kuwabara had discovered a little hole in the wall, which conveniently allowed on to see into the next room. Which conveniently held the girls. Thinking the Universe owed him Yusuke peeked through hoping for a dream-like-Keiko...but no...it was dark in their room they were probably all blissfully asleep. 'lucky bastards'

Yusuke settled himself into his floor bed, trying to make it as comfortable as possible but of course failing. 'Ow...I'm going to be so sore in the morning'

"snore"

'Damn, I can still hear him...at least it's quieter over here...I wonder if the committee replaced the real Kuwabara with a robot built to snore...that would explain it...their still just fucking with me...why I'd like to'

Kuwabara woke up from the nightmare he'd been having. Someone had stolen Eikichi again and to get him back he had to go through an army of Shizuru's telling him to study...it was horrible. He'd made himself wake up just before the test was given.

Kuwabara reached for his blanket so he could fall asleep again but realized it wasn't there anymore. As he blearily gazed around for it he spotted Yusuke's empty bed. 'Where is he? Is he training? No he said he was too tired to do anything but sleep....wait where have his pillow and sheet gone?' Realization crept over Kuwabara's face and showed itself in a lewd grin...'He must be with Keiko somewhere...lucky bastard.' He chuckled to himself. 'There's my blanket... I must have kicked it on the floor'

Kuwabara settled himself back in and looked at the clock by the bed. '7:00? I didn't know morning had a 7. Damn, learn something new everyday.' With that last thought Kuwabara happily returned to sleep.

The "lucky bastard" tossed and turned on the floor across the room as every muscle in his back tightened in discomfort.

"Yusuke, Kuwabara," a voice called, with an accompanying light tapping on the door. "You should be up by now if we're going to watch our competition."

Yusuke ground on the floor and rolled over to respond just in time to get hit in the face as Kurama opened the door.

"GOD DAMN EVERYTHING TO FUCKING HELL!!"

"Yusuke...gomen...I didn't expect you to be there," Kurama said as he slipped into the room. "Why are you there? Spying on the girls again?"

"No, it was too fucking loud over there," Yusuke seethed, pointing in the direction of his bed.

Kurama looked where he was pointing and blushed realizing that Yusuke's bed was right against the wall of his and Hiei's room. "oh?"

Luckily for him Yusuke would have missed the blush even if he had been paying attention...which he wasn't because he was already halfway to the sleeping Kuwabara's bed.

"This ass-hole snored all fucking night!" Yusuke yelled, punching said ass hole in the shoulder. Hard.

"Oi, Urameshi. What's the idea? I was sleeping!" Kuwabara yelled as loud as one can after just waking up.

The word "sleeping" seemed to be the straw that broke the camels back as Yusuke pounced on Kuwabara with an almost deafening roar, and began punching the very confused Kuwabara with lighting speed.

"This is for not shutting up" Punch "This is for keeping me up all night" Punch "This is fro using my disc man" Punch

"Urameshi what are you talking about?!" Kuwabara asked frantically while trying to block at least some of the punches.

"This is fro making me sleep on the floor" Punch "This is for ruining my dreams" punch "There was cool whip. Cool Whip!" Punch. Punch. Punch.

Kurama watched the scene in front him from the door with a growing sweatdrop as Yusuke started making less and less sense. It no longer even sounded like a language...maybe ogre...

"I'm going to watch the fights now. You two should come watch too whenever you get finished," Kurama called as he backed out of the room, and slammed the door shut quickly.

"Urameshi stop...Urameshi what did I do?"

"ARGH!"

Authors Notes: I wrote this after being kept awake all night by my roommates snoring. Holy crap she was loud. This was written in early morning after getting no sleep and then typed up right after I got back from my trip to Sweden. 29 hours traveling...if there are any mistakes let me know. This is my first fic so constructive criticism is very appreciated. And of course ego-petting is always welcome


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